i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
