so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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