NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize