What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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