i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
