so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
