If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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