Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
