I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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