All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
