I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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