i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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