I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
