How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
