Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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