i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
