I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
