All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
