i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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