when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
