I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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