Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
