If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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