We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Houston, we have a blender
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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