my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
