My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
