If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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