i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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