I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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