i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize