JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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