Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
