dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
