First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
