U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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