Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
