Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
