So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
