I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
