My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
