Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
