i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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