It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
