Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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