and i looked up. we had an audience...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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