so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
