I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
