I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
