Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
