gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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