Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
