if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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