Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
