Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
