I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
