covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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