I just gift wrapped bread.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
