Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
