I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
