i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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