So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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