I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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