he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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